Thursday, January 28, 2010
5:01 AM
CNY approaching soon..and i dono how to face my relatives..wish they understands and would leave me alone by then..
Sealing the Shinigami
4:59 AM
Just like a scary movie. Its the sound effect the scares me, now its the words you guys said that hurts me that much..
Sealing the Shinigami
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
5:27 AM
Why must god always play around with me? Every time, competition practices i get good results. But actual thing, it screws up. Some times it's just the thing corrupted out of no reasons? So do exams. Scoring for daily class test. When it comes to real thing? FUCKED UP! SCREW YOU MAN...STOP GIVING PEOPLE FALSE HOPE! DO YOU THINK IT's FUNNY?? NO ITS NOT!! NOT AT ALL!!
Sealing the Shinigami
5:26 AM
FML
Sealing the Shinigami
5:25 AM
Ironic isn't it? The day before the results, I received my bursary award for good results. The next day I received a paper that i got bad results...
Sealing the Shinigami
5:23 AM
I pray....I wished...I hoped...I want.... everything that's happening now is just a dream..if this is a dream...i could have woke up by now....
Sealing the Shinigami
4:42 AM
Monday 11/1/10The day we get back our o levels results.Around 11.15, I reached school around then. When I first step onto ground of Damai, I started to panicked, no idea how my results would turn out. Went to Canteen and bought drinks, talking with some juniors ease my feeling somehow and met up with Weixiong. Walked around the school, a sense of fear that I may need to be back for the year. Up to the Library and helped carrying tables down, some labor work done, but the fear in me was still there while carrying. waited in the library and chat with some of the people there. Juniors are reminding about the results i fear so much. Avoiding, avoiding, i went down to 2nd floor, met Mr Steven and talked awhile.When i went back up, it was 1.20, the time is nearing every seconds.Went to the hall at 1.30. I fear the time to come.Afraid of whats there for me. Teachers kept silence regarding about results. It was time to assemble in the Hall. My heart beats fast, real fast. while listening to the briefing, i sat down there, mind completely blank, only to think of the results. Looking around at the sec 4s, they seems to be there for a show where they could see people crying there. Mind filled with negative thoughts. The principal finished announcing the top scholars of Damai, where we starts to get our results slips. Heart raced, adding on to my illness. Taking the results slips, i could not let my eyes have a view on the results until I returned to my seats. Saw an E8 for English. I walked around the hall aimlessly trying to hide my sadness, until a junior approach me to ask me about the results. I couldn't say, I really couldn't say. The only thing i did was to take my bag and walked away. Trying to hide away from this whole truth and didn't take a glance of the result slip until i got home. Along my way home. I talked to Mr Steven who also lived near me. Crying on the bus home. Locking myself in my room for the whole day, not returning messages and calls. These 2 days, have completely lost my soul, myself and everything else. I am as good as a zombie. Cries after short conversations. Never eat till just now.... I am lost now..seriously lost.. now am mentally and physically pain..with my illness still present...teach me how to step out from this...
Sealing the Shinigami
